Trading happiness is a serious business among human beings. Not everyone is a winner pursuing it but everyone tries their hand in it many times through their lives starting with the family connections, friendships, love relationships and going through work partnerships, and so on. Human relationships have the power to be the most fulfilling part of our lives as well as the most heart breaking. And yet we all go after it with the constant try in the trading business of happiness. Yes, we trade happiness. Friendships, companionships, love spring out of the roots of this ancient trade.
I guess you feel horrified by just reading this? How can I call the most beautiful thing like happiness and love the trade?! The truth is whether you like it or not we are all trading – giving and receiving some more and some less, but we all do it every day starting from ourselves first. Actually, it always starts with ourselves first and then we go into society vibrating it all around. Others pick on our vibration and respond accordingly. Painful plain truth. There has been millions of books written, thousands and hundreds of movies and videos made on the subject of being in control of your thoughts that decide your actions. How much have you listened to it? We know it all and yet each time we read the same over and over again just differently worded and either we experience our aha moment and suddenly change our lives for the better or we are not.
However, no matter how many books you read or how much you practice positive thinking, a huge part of goodness must spring out of your character. And the truth is, we all develop our characters – some more succumb to the expectations of society and some less. The level of independence on their own self-development decides one’s strength of character, value system and willingness to exercise their free-will regardless of other peoples’ expectations, needs and wants. You got to do things that make you happy if you want to be happy. Choosing to be in toxic relationships –trading happiness does not begin and end only with love relationships but also circle in family and work connections – also decides your happiness, your thinking, your feelings, your strength and independence. There is nothing wrong to be independent. You must be. Why? You see, independence enhances one’s self-worth, level of risk grows, adventure becomes at times a norm depending on one’s character, many new things get tried, developed and created and many other things that greatly add to one’s happiness. Because when you are happy, the world around you becomes infected by you and your happiness and responds accordingly. This is how you make the change!
To be honest, there is no need for expertise to being able to think things through but experience and observations are the must or just, let’s say, that a bit of acceptance also would work wonders. We are capable of making others truly happy only once we are fully happy within ourselves or at least we become brave enough to look into our black spots, acknowledge them and humbly embrace them. That’s what makes life tick, that’s what makes us as what we are – we are perfect in our imperfections. Imperfection…what does it stand for? I Am Perfection. And that is absolute truth. No one will ever be capable of making you fully content unless you make that step first, but anyone willing can beautifully contribute to one’s happiness big time. At times a small gesture of kindness (trading kindness for one’s self-satisfaction) turns one’s world around and makes a huge positive difference. Those simple significant moments are the ones that we remember for a long time if not for the rest of our lives.
Sounds strange – trading kindness for one’s self-satisfaction. It is bizarre! But true. In full honesty, such thing as selfless act does not exist. If you didn’t feel somewhat rewarded for whatever that you have done, you would never do it. When you give someone a gift or perform an act of kindness, you make that person happy and yourself as well. It is a trade that not necessary requires some visible things to be given in return. Emotional satisfaction actually is far greater than any material gift on the planet earth. Sometimes we do something good for others without them knowing it, and yet it is not a selfless act. No matter the other person knows it or not, you already got your satisfaction – you made yourself happy. And that is the most important! How can you trade happiness or love or kindness if you yourself are not willing to give it to yourself? Only once you are interested and wanting to love yourself, to be kind to yourself, to make yourself happy, only then you are capable of doing it for others.
When you smile, the world around you smiles. When you are having fun, you automatically attract people and circumstance that are ready for you then and there. When you love, love comes your way, however it will not necessary come from people or situations you would like to receive it at that very particular moment, but nevertheless it will come your way. You can call it a law of attraction and make the whole formula full with complicated ins and outs of it or call it a trade. It is a trade that has been very well worded by so many – you give what you have and receive what you give.
So yes, we are trading happiness on daily basis with people we love, with people we care about, with people we hardly know and with people we know nothing about. But the most importantly, we are trading happiness with ourselves first with never ending hope that good things will be constant and consistent, that people will never disappoint us and we will not disappoint anyone else, especially the ones that we care about. We crave for consistency regardless whether we are willing to give the same in return, but we do want others to give us more than we ask for and at times it seems we are prepared to give the same in return forever and ever, and yet it never happens like this. To expect happiness to be consistent would be a real waste of time. Nothing is consistent. Life is inconsistent just like people. So tell me, how one could expect anyone to be consistent with their emotions and actions if life itself constantly messes all around? Nonetheless, sooner or later things come or happen – nothing gets forgotten, nothing gets ignored, nothing gets pushed aside. Everything goes through its full circle in life whether fast or slow but it goes and reaches its destination, which is you.
Copyright © Jolita Kelias 2015
All Rights Reserved