I am your second chance. The chance you have been waiting for so long. I am your tomorrow. I am your fiancé, your future wife, your husband. I am your better tomorrow. I am your unborn child. I am your better health and the worst version of things you unknowingly pray each and every day for. I am the one able to offer you conscious choosing and one more opportunity for the things to manifest as you may desire whether they are good or bad. You decide. But I am that chance you are always seeking for with eagerness and hunger.
You stretch your hands to me which never reach me and, to tell the truth, they will never reach me, because, you see, I am tomorrow…that never comes.
In time I transform into Today’s Day and you seem not to notice my change, but instead you keep longing for something else, for something more, for something that is me – your tomorrow.
Yes, I am your hope. I am a better version of you, your life. I am also your faster and faster nearing death you stretch your hands to while hoping for the better tomorrow forgetting to enjoy the only day you got in your life which is today’s day.
Would you like to know the secret, my dearest? I am your second chance you have been waiting for and you will be waiting for me for the rest of your life, because, you see, I never come.
I am your illusion, fantasy, your never fulfilled hope. I like me. I find so easy to deceive you. I am your death. Hurry hurry! Chase me! I will run from you. I will continue creating images of the better tomorrow and yet enjoyably laughing straight to your face. I am your hope leading to the silent death. You will realise my truth once on the death bed, you will realise it in the big Oh! And then I will laugh at you as I am laughing now. And I yet will cry together with you too. Yes, I will, because, you see, you are the only one who makes me real, who brings life into my being. I am an illusion to myself. I fall sick and die each time you surrender to the now.
Without you I am nothing. Without you I do not exist. You breathe existence into me. So keep chasing me, keep thinking of me, keep wanting me, keep having faith in me. Your fantasy creates my body, helps me take my breaths, makes me feel. I live through you. Each time you seem to be content with the today’s day, I get scared. It is not what I need, It is not what I want. It is not what sustains me. So keep chasing me. I need you to succumb to me each day and every day. I work hard to survive, to be, to live; each day I paint pictures of richness of life you desire. My creativity is endless. Believe in me, travel with me, cry for me, thirst and long for me, bath in my blood stream. I am your tomorrow which never comes.
I am alive because of you. Stay with me, come into my abode of empty promises and unfulfilled dreams, stretch your hands towards me. I promise I will grab them and carry you all the way through the life of illusion into the promised land of loneliness, unfulfilled dreams and thirsty heart.
I am your tomorrow that never comes.
Copyright © Jolita Kelias 2014
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