self-respectAt times it can take years and years of experience to learn to respect yourself, especially when it comes to human relationships. I did notice that it gets much harder to being able to draw a silver lining if you are emotionally attached to people you love. For example, if you are not in-love or don’t dream and care about having future with your date, it becomes easier to turn your back on any sort of crap thrown at you and walk away or show the door, but the moment you fall-in-love, you often start giving without expecting anything in return where at times the point gets reached where you notice you get nothing in return and plus there seem to be little respect from the other side shown to you too. It also becomes easier to excuse any kind of disrespectful behaviour as we try to look beyond the surface or refuse to accept the truth at its face value. We, women, tend to fall into this trap of over functioning and giving more often than men. Either you learn hard way or you suffer. Simple. I learned hard way but I learned.
For some time I asked myself what is self-respect? Regardless, everything has the silver lining to everything else. Even self-respect could be over-acted and over-done. Self-respect boarders with ignorance and arrogance. The last thing I personally need in my life is the last two. The ability to find that silver-lining I see as a mastery – a mastery of emotions, thoughts and actions. Join those three together and harmony takes over. How many of us can do that?
Self-respect is loving yourself. Then I asked myself another question. How does one apply love to themselves? Apparently, self-respect and self-love is one and the same. The shortest and the strongest answer I could give comes from the Bible – Treat others the way you want to be treated. I learned this truth when I was a little girl, and yet really understood the true meaning of it only while living and going through life itself. I walked, I fell, I stood up, I dusted myself off and walked again, and fell again, and stood up again… The journey goes on.

Treat others the way you want to be treated – this is self-respect, this is self-love. It does not mean everyone will reciprocate, but you will always know you did a right thing. But I can guarantee, no matter what, your example will always be noticed and deep down in their hearts respected. It does not mean you should put up with other people’s nuisance. You should always feel free to step back or walk away. Actually, to know when to do that is wisdom. I wish us all that level of wisdom.

Copyright © Jolita Kelias 2015
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