Straying like a cat…

catWhat is it about people wanting to be happy ever after, but making totally different steps towards their imagined happiness? It seems that no matter what they do, things always tend to take a detour.

They meet their so called soul-mates, get excited, kiss and make passionate love, promise things in reality not always truly knowing what they are promising, and then some time later they seem to change their outlook to their so called in-love and happy ever after. They start looking around searching for something to excite their minds, to awake from that lethargic sleep of routine and monotony they fell into while in a monogamous relationship, to stir their souls and let themselves loose…without bad consequences. Yes, they all think or hope they would not be caught. But it is not what makes me wonder. What I wonder about is the reasons behind one’s desire to stray… And I think I have a great grasp on it.
Is our society really created to be monogamous? This is the question many, I guess, ask quite often nowadays. Of course, while we are single, we tend to think we have the right to go crazy with our choices and behaviours and we cannot be judged, but once we get into monogamous relationship, we fall into the same social pattern of wanting loyal and faithful relationship, which most of that we expect from our partner, but if things happen and eventually some day we find ourselves unhappy, we suddenly wander away starting with thoughts first until the day comes and the target gets spotted and eventually approaches us. That’s then the choosing, real choosing happens. But again, majority believes or wants to believe that they are allowed to do it, however they could not forgive their other halves for doing the same. Is it not quite hypocritical?
Based on my own experience I feel that real relationship are meant only for mature enough people – mature in their mind and heart. People who see the difference between chemical reactions and real wanting to settle down and blend lives together. It is not a children’s game…any more. I personally enjoy being in monogamous relationship and I believe in monogamy, however relationship is made of two people and not one, which often many tend to forget. I shall repeat myself – relationship is the work of two people and not one. If one of the persons triangulate but expects the other one to stay loyal and faithful, then they better just zoek off.
Anyway, let’s look into the need to look around or, in other words, stray or cheat. Can anyone be blamed for that? Or shall I better say, is there at all the real reason to place a blame on anyone at all? We are all adults – from the moment we hold hands, kiss, make love and give promises, we become adults who must take responsibility for their actions and choices regardless of age, gender or social status or anything else in between.
I am sure about one thing, it would be a mistake to think that one strays only because the other one is wrong somewhere or because they are not happy. No, there is more to it. Often many live double lives simply based on the desire to come out of the boredom and break free from their daily routine. Unfortunately, lots of planning must come into it as well, and that is another reason that boils one’s blood and excites them, but for as long as all the matters are in their control. However, there are always things that get to be unforeseen and mistakes get made and things come out like a cat out of the bag. And yet, even that can be held back. How many of us lived or live or perhaps will at least once experience this kind of living?! I believe, soon pretty much everyone will be doing that, as social norms and beliefs and principals are changing drastically and people becoming easier tempted and manipulated to mess around. My eyes, my ears, my soul witnessed so much of it that if you ask me where to begin, I would not be able to point the beginning or the end of it.
Sometimes I look at things and wish I was naïve enough not to notice nothing, not to observe, not to be able to spot the real thing, but it is impossible when you actually observe, analyse, see, put yourself in one’s shoes and finally know the answer. Then the action comes in which requires courage… Yes, to go with the truth requires courage. And the perfect bubble of illusion explodes and all fall apart and then you either gotta walk away or put up with it. An achy game. An achy choice. And yet the world of humans does not stop from turning around and living its purpose whatever that purpose might be.
I have always been fascinated by how we live our lives and act upon our thoughts and feelings. It is fascinating to step aside and look at the bigger picture while still seeing every piece of the puzzle. Life is a puzzle and human relationships together with their desires is another piece of that puzzle taking over our lives, thoughts, feelings. We live and create inspired by our emotions that stream from the experience of excitement and sorrow. To be able to transform into a cat and stray as perfectly as it does is not only an achievement (no matter how odd it might sound), but also a skill, excitement and pain. Yes, it all joins in together and it all in some way or the other benefit us through the experience of mistakes made and lessons learned. However, sooner or later it all boils down into one question – is it worth it? Truly, is it worth it?

Copyright © Jolita Kelias 2015
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