I had an interesting phone conversation with a wonderful friend of mine who called me looking for someone to soothe her heart. She seemed very concerned about her upcoming future, finances, and other few things. She said she was trying to surrender to Life and let Life take care of her and her affairs; however she did not know what ways Life chose to help, how it expressed itself… Some time in the middle of her talking I gave a suggestion to her to become fully open to Life, to say Yes to Life more often. She did not seem to understand me…
She also mentioned how lonely and alone she felt. She felt that the only person she could really rely on was me, and others did not seem to be there for her. She said she wanted Life to help her, she asked for help many times but it did not seem to respond to her plea…
I listened to her for a while in silence and then taken by impulse I spoke:
“Ok, let’s see…” I said. “Is there anything I could do for you?”
“Your presence here would be more than enough. I just would love to hug you, my friend.” She answered.
“Do you want me to grab my suitcase and come to see you for the weekend?” I suggested.
“What?! Are you crazy?! You would go all this way just to hug me, so I would not feel pity for myself? I would love you here, but I definitely would not allow you to travel all this way for me. I am not that selfish, Jolita,” she went on and on…
Once she got quiet, I asked: “Is there any other way I could be of help to you? Is there anything else I could do for you?”
“No no, don’t pay attention to what I say, it is just one of my weak moments…”
And then I interrupted her…
“Look,” I said, “remember, I talked about saying Yes to Life, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“So, my Dear, you have said No to Life before it even could proceed. How can you be helped or supported if every time you rush to say No?”
“What do you mean by that? I don’t remember saying No to Life. I have been asking Life to help me my whole life and so far it does not seem to hear me…” She seemed confused.
And then I replied, “Sweetie, I am Life. Life spoke through me and it is still speaking through me right now. You rejected me when all I wanted was to answer to your plea. You said No to me – to Life – before I could even do anything. How can I help you, if you push me away?”
And that’s where finally the silence on her side began…
“How do you expect Life to come and help you? Do you think there is a tall man with white hair and white beard sitting somewhere up there who perhaps one day or perhaps not will appear to you and release you from all your worries? Don’t worry, death will do that for sure, but in the meantime there are other tools/instruments that Life chooses to express itself through. One of those tools is People. Let people help you, give people a pleasure to be there for you, do not deny their love for silly stereotypes or unnecessary believes that you have taken upon yourself throughout your life. Do yourself and others a favour – stop thinking that you are someone’s inconvenience. You do like to help others, to give yourself fully and you appreciate when others accept it, don’t you? So why then reject support and love from others? You cannot give all the time, the glass needs to be filled as much as emptied, so you could give and receive, and the only way to do this is by accepting Life’s gifts.”
Silence continued on her side for quite some time, and I stayed silent too. After a few minutes I heard her voice: “Well, I guess, I better go to the garden and enjoy my afternoon in the sunshine. Thank you. I finally understood…”
~by Jolita Kelias
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