“Where does joy come from, grandpa?”“From within, my son,” he answered.
I had a wonderful grandpa when I was little…
My grandpa taught me many little but profoundly significant truths of life that to this day serve my highest good whenever facing the world of rush, stress, demands and needs. My grandpa told me that everyone understands good and bad differently – what might be good for me, it will not necessary be seen as good by someone else. He said that people often tend to rush to judge each other and then get surprised if they are judged themselves. “You see,” my grandpa spoke to me, “we all tend to think the highest of ourselves, however, no matter what, we tend to be very critical towards ourselves. Strange, isn’t it? We see ourselves as good people, and yet at the same time we often beat ourselves to bleeding for the mistakes we have made. This is one of the greatest paradoxes of life you will encounter the most starting from yourself first.”
My grandpa said that unfortunately no one have been yet able to escape the prison of self-judgement. He said that throughout my life I will encounter many reminders of self-love, and yet there will be so little explained of what that truly is. Why? Because it is so simple that a majority of people see it too good to be true.
I remember asking my grandpa what that truth was, and at first he hesitated answering to my question, but then eventually after a bit of silence and deep thought he answered… I know I know you would like to hear me telling you this significant secret of life that so many of us miss it in our lives, but before I reveal it to you, I shall tell you couple of other things my grandpa told me. He also urged me not to try jumping from one thought to the other. He said: “Finish first bit first and only then go onto the next one. You cannot climb a new mountain without finishing the one you are already climbing.” My grandpa was a wise man, and I guess you already can see that clearly, although I have just started telling my story.
You know, I have much to share, but I have also learned from my grandpa and my own life experience that not everyone is ready to hear and pay attention, so therefore for that reason I just share a few bits and pieces.
Hm… While I was pondering my thoughts here on this piece of paper I forgot what it was there that I wanted to share with you before I answered your question. Thinking now… I guess my thought patterns work faster than my fingers typing these words.
Actually, it is not a story I am prepared to share with you right now, but just one simple truth, which to this day unfortunately is a bit of a nut for me to crack, because, you see, my brain have been designed in a way where mental growth must be encouraged by me and not my body. I have this instrument I am using that I call body, the main job has been done, and the rest was left up to me. How do I know this? Of course, it was my grandpa who told me this and yet it took me years and years unravelling this truth to the point where it clicked with me and I finally understood. Others tend to call it aha moment. So I had this aha moment and now my brain feel a bit bigger in terms of understanding. However, I am not sure how long it will be for another aha moment to reach my unhurriedly working brain, but I guess I will have to wait and see. I hate this thing known as wait and see. Could it not be easier? I ask a question, my brain receives information and immediately gives me the answer with a strong sense of knowing. Yes, apparently you must feel that sense in order for the truth to be accepted as yours. Without that knowing sense you most likely will move nowhere. Having an answer without experience pretty much means nothing to a human being. If you really look into things deeper and observe people talking, discussing, having conversations, you would see that no one is learning nothing but simply remembering things. People seem to simply know something either theoretically or practically. Of course, you cannot experience everything practically, but only what is important to you, however here I am talking about deeper stuff than climbing hills or mountains. I am talking about questions that humanity has been asking itself for centuries over and over again. Questions are: who am I? what is my purpose here on earth? why am I the way I am? does God exist? and so on. It seems there comes someone or a few wise heads and give us the answers, however only a few truly experience it by themselves and others purely doubt it – some less and some more. Of course, they accept the truths of Jesus or any other prophet that ever walked the planet earth, but yet questions don’t seem to cease but merely increase and eagerness to experience it becomes greater, and yet there another obstacle arises – not knowing where to begin and whom to believe. So therefore, here we begin descending into ourselves and remembering to trust our gut feeling and intuition. It is quite a bit of a task, is it not?
I am sitting here and loudly-quietly pondering to myself the truths that my grandpa once shared with me. I remember it was one of those days when my grandpa and I spent time together. He looked after me, fed me, washed me, told me stories about princes and princesses, put me to bed and made sure he was always around in case I needed him. However, on that particular day things were different. My grandpa decided to open up to me after I asked him a question: “Grandpa, can you tell me my purpose in this life?” I remember I was ten years old boy by then, who often preferred the company of his grandpa rather than his friends playing games outside. I admired my grandpa; I loved him and always thought to myself that I wanted to be just like him once I grow up. Hm, I am wondering if I have reached my wish at least a bit throughout the years… By the way, I am thirty four years old in case if you are wondering. Anyway, let’s go back to the question I asked my grandpa.
I am a grown up man who often relives moments of his childhood as that’s where he gets to connect to the wisdom of life. My grandpa was the teller of truth. Of course, you do not have to believe me as I am not here to convince you. I am only sharing and who wants to hear me and ponder on those thoughts of mine, then you are more than welcome, and whoever that wishes to reject it, then please feel free. No one can change the feelings and thoughts I have for my grandpa, who is not here with me any more, but in my heart and memories he will always stay alive. I guess some piece of him will stay alive with you too even if just very little.
I think he knew that the day will come when I will share his truths with you too the way that he did it with me. Just there is one significant difference… I am still growing into those truths and he – he already was that, he already lived it.
And so my grandpa spoke:
“There is only One person in this world of mind, body and soul and that is You. In other words, you are alone – no one is your friend and no one is your enemy until you decide so. When someone tells you we are all one, they tell you the truth. There is not 8 billion people on the planet earth but just one – you. One body made of one consciousness. Difficult-simple truth, isn’t it? If more people understood this, instead of trying to act as separate beings, they would begin consciously acting as one and that way create one way of life. Now you are brought to think that life is made of choices called good and bad. However, such thing as good or bad does not exist unless you say so. Peace and war are one and the same because both sides want equally the same. There is action and reaction and reaction comes from the action, in other words, reaction does not happen without action and action would not be seen as action without reaction – a ripple effect. What comes from one comes back to one. Hence, the truth is – we are all one because you are one and very much alone.”
“But, grandpa, this seems so lonely.”
“Yes, it does when you are trying to process this information with your mind instead of your heart. No one can feel what you feel, no one can think what you think or see what you see, no one can experience your moment for you, because there is only one being in it all and that’s you, me, I, and you and you…”
“So all those relationships that we share – marriages, friendships, partnerships, companionships – what are they?” I enquired curiously.
My grandpa smiled before answering. I guess he felt I was ready to hear his answer even if not yet fully understanding the significance of it: “You share it with yourself each and every time. There are no coincidences in life. Whatever experiences you are having in your life right now, you or, in other words, your consciousness called it forth. I did not cause it, your friend or neighbour did not cause it. You caused it all upon yourself.”
“Wow!” I exclaimed in utter disbelief.
“Throughout your life you will be guided in many ways to be happy with yourself, to love yourself, to be comfortable in your own company, however probably no one will ever explain to you in a way that I do that there is no other way except this one. Why is that? The truth is that they themselves will not know that simple and yet such a difficult comprehendible truth.”
“Our minds are not made to understand?” I enquired puzzled.
“But our hearts are, son.” My grandpa replied. “Your purpose in life is to align yourself with the forces of the universe and feel the truth. Life will guide you. Now whether you will pay attention, that’s another matter. Your human body has been programmed to act and be in a certain way, however spirit is one and the same and cannot be mended or touched or programmed or manipulated. The moment you are able to align yourself with the truth, you become free of conditioning and social constrains. You automatically begin following your truth which is one and the same – universal truth. Nothing will scare you any more, nothing will be able to play mind games with you, no one will have power over you, no one and nothing will condition you. Even your body will bend to your command where thought and feeling work as one. I wish you this, son.”
“Am I a reflection of myself?”
“Yes. You find a piece of you in me, a piece of you in your mom and your best friend, in your teacher, in the stranger on the street and many others, and some have more impact on you than others. Life and its conditioning reflect upon you as a mirror image and the sooner you grasp it, the sooner you regain your freedom.”
“And where is God in it all?” I asked.
“In everything, my son.”
“But I don’t see Him.” I argued.
“What if I say I am God?”
“You are my God?” I exclaimed in disbelief.
“You are not listening to me. I said, what if I told you I am God? I didn’t say I was your God.” My grandpa corrected me.
“But why would you claim that, grandpa?”
“Perhaps because it is truth?!”
“I don’t understand,” I looked truly puzzled.
My grandpa looked at me in silence for a little while and smiled. I guess he was pondering whether to answer my question or not. Perhaps he doubted my ability and timing to really hear him. Thanks goodness he chose to speak.
“God stands for creation of all and everything. I am the creator of my life, my environment… And that is whole and everything.Some day you will hear some people proclaiming being god and they will be correct, because they will know from the depths of their hearts they are creators of their own destiny. However, when the day comes and you finally understand this simple significant truth and finally dare to voice yourself, a huge majority of people will see you as an insane arrogant idiot. However, speak only once you know it from the depths of your being; and once you know, you will speak and no one will be able to scare you or make you doubt your truth. You are god creating your own world. You create it, you destroy it, you recreate it, and it is all in your hands and power. You are never weak, but you can experience moments of doubt and self-pity, and that is ok because that’s a matter of creation while rediscovering your true nature.”
… … …
So that’s the truth I wished to share with you that years ago meant nothing to me as my brain and lack of self-awareness stopped me from digesting it, but now… Now I finally heard my grandpa and paid attention to his words. You are a creator of your life in every sense. You are responsible for yourown joys and your sorrows. You are failure and success… Up to you to decide. Yes, it can be hard to grasp it, painful to admit it and very brave to endure and live it. I chose to live it.
Copyright © Jolita Kelias 2016
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