(Excerpt from Conversation between Celina and Rose from my upcoming third book – novel)
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Waves one by one were gently resting onto the seashore that she sat. They came, wet her feet and left. At the beginning she felt them touching her feet, but later became unaware of it any longer. Waves came and went, and she sat there lost in her thoughts. She thought about relationships and the role they had in people’s life…
“It is not that relationships are only between people. Everything around you and within you is in a relationship. All is interconnected.”
Celina lifted her head wondering who was talking to her. There was a housekeeper Rose standing by her right side kindly looking at her. Her eyes were smiling.
“How did you know what I was thinking?” the girl asked.
“I did not know, I just chose the topic at random,” Rose answered. “However, I am glad to know I got it right,” she smiled and slowly sat down on the sand next to Celina.
“You see, the sea…is one. There are no pieces of it that are separated. All is dancing and moving in unity,” the woman continued speaking. “Look around you. What do you see?”
Celina looked around. She saw tall trees covered in green leaves and blossoms, she saw sand dunes, she saw sand and its small grains, she looked up and saw seagulls flying in the air, she saw a light blue sky and the sun far high in the horizon…
“You see a lot, don’t you?” Rose enquired.
“Yes, I do.”
“It is all connected. It all has the role to play and yet they are related to each other and to you too.”
“To me too?” Celina seemed surprised.
“Yes, you are a part of it,” Rose nodded.
“Listen, girl,” Rose continued as if knowing what thoughts were bothering Celina, “whenever you consider being in a relationship with someone, you whether decide to take a plunge and go with the flow or you choose something different to it. As long as you use your free will, you are the decider of your own destiny, but as long as you agree to go with the flow – it becomes your fate. You are not in control any more, you are being controlled by your own destiny and often that can be a good thing.”
“But how can I know that it will work out?” the girl wondered.
Rose gently touched Celina’s shoulder. “You cannot know. You only will know once you get into the whirl of that something, and yet no answer can be guaranteed.”
“Uncertainty scares me.”
“If you just remembered that you are not alone and all is connected to you, it would become much easier to handle whatever that makes you feel uncertain. You also have me. You have us.”
“Rose, tell me, why does life bring people into your life, keep them there with you for a bit and then take it away? Why new relationships begin and other end?”
“Why do you think?” Rose asked her back.
Celina had no answer, at least not at the moment. She turned away from Rose back to the sea and got lost in its depth. She thought, she thought hard but answer did not seem to come.
“I understand, the situation you are in does not look easy and can be challenging and a boy is a part of it as well, but…”
“But?”
“But what do you have to lose for allowing yourself to love, to love truly? You would lose more for not giving a try rather than denying an opportunity its chance. You would regret more for not going with the flow on this occasion than going with it. How can anyone regret for loving another person with their whole being? Don’t you deserve to know what love between man and woman really is?”
Celina did not respond.
Rose kept quiet too.
“Yes…but how long will that last?”
“Does it really matter?” Rose answered. “Don’t try to measure love, don’t time it, rather allow it to be for as long as it meant to.”
“But what if that is just a pure passion and no love?” Celina kept questioning.
“So what? What’s wrong with passion? You deserve to know its power. Forget what other people say, don’t listen to what I say; but, girl, don’t you ever dare not to listen to your heart. What does your heart want? What is it calling for that you cannot rest and be at peace? Give it what it asks for and just live life to its fullest. I am not going to judge you; Macy is not going to judge you and definitely not Oliver. And the boy…he already loves you, he will be more than happy to see you with his father. Tell me, what stops you from making a plunge?”
“Its possible temporality,” Celina answered.
“But deep in your heart you know that decision has been already made and no matter how long you will try thinking about it, eventually you will choose the flow.” Rose said.
“Why do you think I would do that?”
“Because you cannot not do it. You cannot say no to love, at least not at where you are now.”
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~Jolita Kelias
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